1) I had to take both learners and practical driving tests twice each.
2) My multiple shoulder dislocations that eventually resulted in the need for surgery started out as a flirting accident.
3) I only learned how to really tie my shoes the way everyone else does when I was in my teens. Before then I’d make two separate loops and tie them together instead of that one loop through the other thingamajig.
Alright, now you owe me two. 😉
{Disclaimer} PG-13 story
Being the 26 year adolescent that I was at the time, I once got caught by the cops ‘crushing’ in my car in Anacostia park in Washington, DC. It was the dead of winter with snow all around, so I figured I’d get away with it. Said female and I were ‘mid stroke’ as they say and po-po rolls up behind us and shines a search light through the back window. I hadda roll down the window and they asked for my license and registration. By the time they made me roll down the window, I had managed to snatch up my pants from around my ankles to cover myself, but I didn’t fasten them. I reached from the back seat to the front to get the registration out of the glove box and my pants fell down and exposed my butt to the three cops that surrounded the car, lights glaring. The girl’s head was buried in her face from humiliation and the cops laughed so hard, they let me go with a warning. Later as we left the park, the girl said she’s glad they let us go because she was on parole. I dropped her off and have never engaged in any risky type behavior since. Talk about scared straight…
Okay Chris, no more questions like these huh? I am starting to see how tragic, trifling and tumultous my life has been…. SHEESH!
I once flunked a pregnancy test
Here’s my list:
(1) Until my sophmore year, I thought that thunder was made because of the clouds bumping into each other.
(2) In 3rd grade, I cheated on my eye test by memorizing the letters. In 4th grade, I did the same thing because my eyesight was bad, but I didn’t want to get glasses. In 5th grade, my eyesight was so bad, I was bumping into things, so I didn’t cheat. And this is how bad my eyesight was – when I went home and looked at the flying blue and red airplanes on my wallpaper, they looked holographic, they were so real!
(3)
I still don’t know how to do the “one loop through the other thingamajig” shoe tie Ara was taking about, and I’m well passed my teens 🙁
Dat: You make one loop with a lace, then take the second lace and start making a loop around the first one. As you’re bringing it around, pass it through the first loop, making it a second loop that “comes through” the first. Now just tighten both loops. Here, take a look at these: http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm
And BTW, I was 16 or 17 when I learned. 😉
The only class I failed in college was Word Perfect… Course I never went to class, because I already knew it from using it all through high school…
You youngsters are saying, “what’s Word Perfect?”
I once scored with a chick after I told her that I was on the olympic cycling team. In reality I was still trying to win my first race as a Cat 3. She turned out to be such a sweetheart, and I’ve felt guilty about it ever since.
I remember using WordPerfect when it was on a b/w screen, and then a blue screen, and now I think only one out of 1,000 people even use Word Perfect. I still get maybe 1 file a year from someone that is using it. Usually it’s because they like a single feature, like the way you can take a document and create a printable booklet with one click.
I pooped my pants while I slept one night in college (no I wasn’t drinking, or under the influence of any narcotic…at least I’d have an excuse if that were the case!) To this day it is a mystery as to why, all I know is it was quite a mess…and not very nice to wake up to at 3 in the morning.
…there you have it, the most embarrassing thing ever to me. Oh, did I fail to mention my wife was in bed with me at the time?…yeah, that bad.
It only happened that one time….only thing I can think of is it was something I ate.
…I feel this post is a mistake, but since I do stupid things, I’ll just hit submit anyway and deal with the consequences later.
Jeff Wins.
Thanks Ara, and yeah, Jeff wins. This is like MySpace for web professionals!
14 responses to “Flunked”
1) I had to take both learners and practical driving tests twice each.
2) My multiple shoulder dislocations that eventually resulted in the need for surgery started out as a flirting accident.
3) I only learned how to really tie my shoes the way everyone else does when I was in my teens. Before then I’d make two separate loops and tie them together instead of that one loop through the other thingamajig.
Alright, now you owe me two. 😉
{Disclaimer} PG-13 story
Being the 26 year adolescent that I was at the time, I once got caught by the cops ‘crushing’ in my car in Anacostia park in Washington, DC. It was the dead of winter with snow all around, so I figured I’d get away with it. Said female and I were ‘mid stroke’ as they say and po-po rolls up behind us and shines a search light through the back window. I hadda roll down the window and they asked for my license and registration. By the time they made me roll down the window, I had managed to snatch up my pants from around my ankles to cover myself, but I didn’t fasten them. I reached from the back seat to the front to get the registration out of the glove box and my pants fell down and exposed my butt to the three cops that surrounded the car, lights glaring. The girl’s head was buried in her face from humiliation and the cops laughed so hard, they let me go with a warning. Later as we left the park, the girl said she’s glad they let us go because she was on parole. I dropped her off and have never engaged in any risky type behavior since. Talk about scared straight…
Okay Chris, no more questions like these huh? I am starting to see how tragic, trifling and tumultous my life has been…. SHEESH!
I once flunked a pregnancy test
Here’s my list:
(1) Until my sophmore year, I thought that thunder was made because of the clouds bumping into each other.
(2) In 3rd grade, I cheated on my eye test by memorizing the letters. In 4th grade, I did the same thing because my eyesight was bad, but I didn’t want to get glasses. In 5th grade, my eyesight was so bad, I was bumping into things, so I didn’t cheat. And this is how bad my eyesight was – when I went home and looked at the flying blue and red airplanes on my wallpaper, they looked holographic, they were so real!
(3)
I still don’t know how to do the “one loop through the other thingamajig” shoe tie Ara was taking about, and I’m well passed my teens 🙁
Dat: You make one loop with a lace, then take the second lace and start making a loop around the first one. As you’re bringing it around, pass it through the first loop, making it a second loop that “comes through” the first. Now just tighten both loops. Here, take a look at these: http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm
And BTW, I was 16 or 17 when I learned. 😉
The only class I failed in college was Word Perfect… Course I never went to class, because I already knew it from using it all through high school…
You youngsters are saying, “what’s Word Perfect?”
I once scored with a chick after I told her that I was on the olympic cycling team. In reality I was still trying to win my first race as a Cat 3. She turned out to be such a sweetheart, and I’ve felt guilty about it ever since.
This whole confession thing seems to be a timely subject. Check out a recent post and the ensuing comments on another design blog. http://www.beadesigngroup.com/blog/archives/2006/07/anonymous_confessional_posting.html
I remember using WordPerfect when it was on a b/w screen, and then a blue screen, and now I think only one out of 1,000 people even use Word Perfect. I still get maybe 1 file a year from someone that is using it. Usually it’s because they like a single feature, like the way you can take a document and create a printable booklet with one click.
I pooped my pants while I slept one night in college (no I wasn’t drinking, or under the influence of any narcotic…at least I’d have an excuse if that were the case!) To this day it is a mystery as to why, all I know is it was quite a mess…and not very nice to wake up to at 3 in the morning.
…there you have it, the most embarrassing thing ever to me. Oh, did I fail to mention my wife was in bed with me at the time?…yeah, that bad.
It only happened that one time….only thing I can think of is it was something I ate.
…I feel this post is a mistake, but since I do stupid things, I’ll just hit submit anyway and deal with the consequences later.
Jeff Wins.
Thanks Ara, and yeah, Jeff wins. This is like MySpace for web professionals!
I like that! MySpace for web professionals! LOL.
Yeah, Jeff wins.