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“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan.” — A. Whitney Brown (via Gary)

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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger, and I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.” — Lynda Montgomery (via Gary)

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“Those who don’t do anything are always the ones who try to put you down.” – Henry Rollins

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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

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“Don’t tell me you want a bridge, show me the canyon!” – Guiseppe Delena, Ford Motor Co.

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“Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett

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  1. *Warms hands in front of a freshly built fire*
    “ahh… all this just because someone planted that tree a long time ago”