in Whimsical

The office lottery pool: To play or not to play, and other thoughts by yours truly

There’s no way to win with the office lottery pool. Unless you win win. Tornado shares office space with a couple of other companies and so we have our typical daily water cooler chit chat.

“Hey Chris, are you in?

“In what?”

“The lottery!!”

“Oh, what lottery?”

“The one that’s hit 200 million dollars! Duh!

It is at this point I realize I have been successful once again. You see, usually I am 100% knowledgable about current events. A new earthquake happened? I know about it right away. Breaking news is my thing considering the Drudge Report is my favorite site.

So lately, thinking that I was a bit too current, if that’s possible, I’ve been over the past six months paying less attention and when I am the last to hear about a breaking news event I pat myself on the back of the shoulder and say “way to go Chris, you weren’t aware of that!”

Silly.

I figure being the first to know about everything isn’t really that valuable if you know what I mean. Blissful ignorance for me.

So here’s my current predicament. The office lottery pool is $2. My options are as follows:

  1. Just pay the measly $2 and hope they win. The benefits of going down this route are that I don’t look like a cheapskate.
  2. No way Jose, I’m not paying $2 because nobody ever wins the lottery. The problem with this approach besides looking like a loser is that if they actually were to win I would look like the biggest fool. You never hear about the office pool with one unlucky person that didn’t play. Do you?

So that’s my current situation. Status: (besides being single) is that I’m undecided. Maybe I can vote Independent in this one and buy my own ticket? Jeeze, I don’t even know where to buy a ticket. Probably the same place you’d find an ATM (that’s an inside joke, people). I’d rather spend the money on a cup of coffee anyways.

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  1. I never play the lottery — unless there’s a pool. I think you should splurge on the $2. It’s just good, neighborly kharma. You probably won’t win the jackpot, but you’re not losing in the social aspect of the deal either.

  2. The lottery is a tax on people who aren’t good at math.

    If someone handed you some dice with 20 sides and told you that if you gave him $5 and rolled a 16, he’d give you $10, would you do it?

    Now, let’s use a dice that has 30 million sides.
    You have one shot. One roll. For $2.

  3. 2 bucks? are you kidding??? that’s like pouring a perfectly good cup of well cooked espresso with nice, thick layer of caramelly colored creme down the drain.

    no way, man… go to Orange and get another spanish latte

  4. of course, my dumb butt convinces you not to play then you’re hunting me down with a dull butter knife because you didn’t participate and they all won.

    crap, dude… decisions…

    I feel you, bro.

  5. Whoa, it’s two dollars, man. You’ve probably seen $2 in pennies on the ground in the last month. Throw it in. If you get some cash back, excellent. If you don’t, it’s $2. Don’t get Starbucks tomorrow morning. And, like you said, you won’t be the “one guy in the office that didn’t do it” – win or lose.

  6. See, that’s the problem with the lottery. The government taking your AFTER TAX dollars and giving you ridiculous odds to get it back. And your doing this voluntarily! I don’t enter the pools because I know the odds are against me, and if I’m the one guy that doesn’t win, who cares? Nothing in my life will have changed.

  7. Lottery is a tax on the stupid. I wish they would lower my taxes and have lotteries for everything.