Well it’s in the news so I think I’ll let the cat out of the bag. I am the proud new owner of some nice new beachfront property. There’s plenty of room for everybody and we’re going to have lobster every single night for a year and then we’re going to eat more lobster after that.
I’ve included a photo of the beach area (above). Observant readers will say to themselves, “hey, palm trees don’t grow on the east coast!” and I would reply, “well, *cough* this isn’t your average property, is it?” No, it isn’t.
Besides the beautiful sunrise pictured here, the property has a swimming pool (just in case you don’t want to swim with the sharks). This property is described by our friends in the media as follows: “A 40-acre estate in the Hamptons – the Long Island summer retreat of New York’s rich and famous…”
As the new owner of this property, I will be renaming the Hamptons to “Chrisville” simply because “Hamptons” sounds too much like “hamper.” My house isn’t a hamper. Not in the least.
Notice in the picture the throng of guests all enjoying a lobster breakfast on the beach. Mmmm!! Makes me hungry just thinking about it.
6 responses to “My new home”
wow. I suppose you will be following up this announcement with invitations and complimentary plane tickets to come visit you, right? awesome! you’re the best, chris!
Tommy: Actually, no there will not be any airplane tickets. BECAUSE I’M PICKING EVERYONE UP IN MY PRIVATE JET!!!
My people will contact your people to coordinate.
All right!!!!!!!!!! Man this is going to be awesome.
Wait till you see the boat! 😉
Wait a second.. you’re not just stringing me along are you?