“If there was a movie about Chris it would be rated G.” — Tom observing how boring my life really is

“One of these days they’re going to stop printing paper money and Red Bull will be the new commodity!” — Tom helping to boost Todd’s morale at our office one day

“You always have a nice attitude. It’s disturbing.” — Gary

“America is a great place. If you stick around in one place long enough food will show up whether it’s in the form of a small animal or a pizza.” — Tom observing the free pizza that showed up at our office last week

“If awesome had a middle name it would be CHRIS!” — Tom observing our project list (and I promptly said the same thing about Tom)

“All of the items on our item…” — A waitress at Applebees explaining the menu